If feeling confident in yourself is something you struggle with, sometimes it helps if you work from the outside in. Obviously, you shouldn’t lose focus when it comes to taking care of your emotional/spiritual well-being, but feeling pretty can’t hurt. With confidence, like many other things in life, you can fake it ’til you make it. And contrary to popular belief, it doesn’t come from clothes and makeup. It comes from body language. So what happens when you wear a pair of earrings that you love? You hold your head a bit higher. What happens when you choose a pair of jeans that makes your butt look great? You walk with a little extra swing in your step. Fashion is an art form. Be the artist. Decorate yourself.
The way we think about ourselves can be a habit. The more you can say, “I feel beautiful,” the more you’ll start to believe “I am beautiful.” And just see how that alone can change your life.
Most of us lead busy lives, and plenty of us devote time to taking care of other people. But it’s time to retire the old trope of the mother/wife/girlfriend who has “let herself go.” Why on earth should a woman surrender all thought for herself? Being selfless to the point of neglect is not a virtue.
What it comes down to, in my mind, is the question “Am I worth the time?” And the answer is yes. The answer is always yes.
Situations change. Bodies change. But respect yourself enough to spend a few extra minutes in front of a mirror or looking through your closet. It’s not about trying to look good for others. It’s about feeling good. So take the time. Look after yourself the way you might look after a daughter or younger sister. You cannot pour from an empty cup. Give to yourself as well as others.
Humans are social creatures. Even the most introverted among us have relationships with other people. And while I would never advocate that you should dress for others or judge yourself by others’ standards, I will say this: occasionally you’ll want to make a good impression. Or show what you’re made of.
Whether it’s a job interview, meeting the in-laws, or something radically in between, sometimes another person’s opinion will matter. So when you show up, show UP. Your interviewer won’t just look at your resume. People notice the difference between someone who took the time to look neat and someone who forgot to brush their hair. Whether you consider that shallow or not, humans are more likely to favor those who look like they’ve got it together. Take advantage of that. Make them notice you in the best way possible.
Fashion has helped me on a journey that I didn’t even know I needed to take. I’ve gone from teenager to woman in what seems like so short a time. From full-time student to housewife. From knowing everything to realizing how little I really do know.
I used to be very casual. Minimalist. I was busy, and my outfits, like my days, were predictable. I was under constant guidance, and everything I wrote started with a prompt from someone else. And I excelled. I measured up. I met every expectation.
And then suddenly there were no more prompts. A creative writing degree under my belt, I got married, and I moved into my own home. No more instructions. No more supervision. I was officially an adult–and that can be a shock. It was for me. Marriage was the best decision of my life, but I soon realized that every other decision was mine, too.
So I made the choice that would prove to shape my entire world.
To call myself a queen.
I wanted to own that title. To be everything we think a queen should be. I’ve spent more time at the mirror this year than I did over my entire adolescence, and paying myself that kind of attention has furthered my personal growth more than I could have ever expected. I own my space now. I control my image. There is no part of me that I am ashamed of. And if tomorrow I was stripped of all my nice things, I would think no less of myself.
This blog is called The Makings of a Queen for a reason. These benefits of fashion that I’ve listed, they are all components of living like the royalty you are.
Confidence is crucial for a queen. People listen to people who believe in themselves. You set the example of how others will treat you.
Self-respect may be even more crucial. Again, a queen leads by example. If you dedicate time to yourself, if you give yourself love, you are teaching those values to whomever is watching. Do you want your children, your siblings, your friends to all take care of themselves? Do you want them to love themselves? Then show them how.
A queen shows UP. Does she sit on her throne having just rolled out of bed? No. When a queen enters a room, the room notices. I’m not saying you have to be on point all day, every day. I’m saying that true power is making an impression without having to say a word. Too often, life can take choice out of our hands. But your image will always be yours. You can be in control of how you present yourself to the world. In that sense, fashion is worth the extra thought.
Hail to the Queen!
Have a beautiful week.